OCRed-PDF:Notes-from-TheScienceOfMakingFriends.pdf
於 2022年2月4日 (五) 14:22 由 Tankianting（討論 | 貢獻） 所做的修訂
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JTAQY°U_DB KEXUE
(THe Science of making friends)
TSBN 9789863571377 (Taiwan, paperpack)
It. Bind and choose good friends
T) You have to get a good hobby group. eg. if you like anme, yu
can john bhowse are fond of-anime/video/comhc, &c.
14 they wee able to be identified with hobbies, appesrance, and
outgoing activites.
e- they canbe- become a source of your good frend wittoutdor
activites, and meeting, &c.
1-to-1 guiding and internet s@ee- societies is cnsider not
a good way to making friends
3- Tt8& naccessary to aeck the signif- s ens tet- sotming weether
youS@e you8re accepted by the mtées.
A FRIENDSHIP is a sort of SHANSE= CHOTCEs Vou need not to
making #¥eined friends from FV™RYONR,
ITI.Good conversatinus - basic
}Jaddiction of Hour Hobpy and unable to check the feeling is of
your listenp is not good.
It's bette» to cnsider the feeling of the willingess of the
dialog between he/she and you.
2) AQ0d intersection rules:
-2$ i) exchanging the informatiom. bi-directional
2) find the same hobby ȴ between you and the listener.
3) asking the LISTENER, and.take care of tm/her.
NO Brseverat on -)) a tendency to stick a thought not is
uneasily changces.
_If.you PERSEV™R" your talking topic, it811. making others
boring. (ps-- as to me, it is uneasy to observe, or sonsider
other's thought iif face-to-fsce di-log)
Vou can answer your own querying to make others know you mre 4
actively.
It's good to answer the relative questions to make the soc al-
ectins- skill insuffitiomers to get with the topic changéng ina
dhaloge
the queriny- cuering sentences can be ep- MORFE open. eg.
--- (X%) which sci-fi ne¥- movie yea- do you like?
(O) what movie do yu likeeo°e
- the humor is bette--to let the listener know. Tf ttat one dosen't
ttat point, it will make s/he boring. a
- using Hodding and other way to make the sperkér k understanding
youfr-re-lListening t---s/he-really.
- the speaking vioces volume should not be neither too loudnor too
small.
- d n8t make the tbdnrersation be dominateed by you with yur tapic.
Tt is not respect ivity-showing td the others.
- don't make the dialogue like a investing.
-~ dnt be a a-corector (zhijaozai ) |
- if y u8re nt the one's close friend, dh't telk s meth ng too. pri-
rate.
- don't mock others.
~tit.--
~EOW~-
Iv. Statring and entering a chat.
1.UOw to Hit(dashan) others. —
1) lobk at tvet one #4%& gently.
2)can tse the personal pbelongingsbeside you.
3) find the same habit/topic that.is intecested with that one.
h) detecting uf the one is intecested #€¢5 in the conversation.
5) the interdution of myself is merely the TASTT procedure.
ars ahont Lomeee
2-~how to entering muitilpe-person—¢n sations?
Lk W
Oo
: en ppee tly.
i. near them, but not cose to them to be appearently
ii) take care the topic(ts\that are disci sse
Qu
if you ere not accepted inthe middle of » conversation:
using the previous step, but you have to say goodbye and then leave.
IF YOUSRE WHOLTY ACCETTED, the procedures:
1) wait for the shortpause.
2) saying goodbye with an reasonable reasone
3) and then leave finally.
=-VI-- Managing tre electvicakt messages. -
1. 1\C1S; ef. twitter Youtube, “.kiped a, Plog, Virtual game and ceterae
2. the general to intepacet with inteenet tools:
1) NUVTR talkéng-@ too private matters.
2)IF you have to ennect to a stgwanger, you ought to have a reason
why you have to telk to him/her.
3) two messages Pule:
if the regeiver have no reply to you, DO NOT leave message of
more than'"'2" times.
™xceptinn- If you sent a invitatin of mskins friend on a S™5,
and the invitee doesn't accepted, you have to
te Let it bes-'friend making is merely a choice.
4.) do not call to others without permit, nor c me to that one's
Home wittout permission. tegr-
ps- in Taiwan, thege kinds of behavoir is abie-te-be-fined-or-
per considered illigesl pobdbably.
--))) it is better to ema- exchange the ontactins info, first.
i. exchange infos.
ii. find the common interests.
iii. Rave give a suggestion to cont:ct wsh- wf the
other party: eg. 7 find that you -and me like the
programmin= langusses, would you wanna cntact with
me and-l et s- exchange Tet egram att.”
iv. evatuate the willingness of tte other party to contact
w/ me.
v. suggest to exuhamge yo ontact iifo. eg. I can give my
e-mail addr. to you.
he
vi. fin lly , you can exchange t'e contoecting info with him/her.
*¥*x**** rule to using a telephone to eakk call **********
i.
.-eeitell t>e person you want to talk wth. egs—-Uu--
ji. tell sket- your name. ©e&- "Hello, I am Peter. is Yate there"
iii. give a greeting (gio1l-tsio3-mng?7 )
iv. tsk the pertner if this one is- have time to eski- talk with you.
(eg. Qing wen ni fangbian jiang dienhua ma?)
"sioZ-mng7 1i2 hong=pian7 konge tian7-ue7=--"05°
vesay the reason why you have totalk to the listemer.
*** Principlesto hang owt up (Jleshu dianhua) the phone ***
i, await the short pause.
ii. give a Simple and short reason to hang up the phone. eg. T have
to| go to the cram school or 7 have to arr gge my room, ete. i
iii. tell yvI'm so glad t talk with you"
iv. tell that'see you next ttimey,and"goodbye".
*** 4f you have to lesve a voice mesgage Hx%
i. tell the person you want to entsct and the name of you.
ii. tell the resson ttat you ec 11 the person snd the time & date you
leave the msg.
iv. leave the phone num. and say "Goodbye".
== The rule to use the net safely ==
1. teeagers is ASL apporpriate to making friend te on .the “et.
i) a teenager may be 9 huntee by other malicoius persons.
ii) net pal Y bebl friend!
iii) Give not personal contect info t strangess!
eg. real name, home addr., birth’date, TD num. and the
e-mail addr. that ¢c n indentifiy what you belongs to.
Resides, the id name used on the net is prpper to
erase any gender info. Or sme bad man or other persn
wll be eatehed attracted and you will be in troudle.
iv) the privbleges of any messages, photos, voices, etc.
should be well-set/v
vi. fin lly , you can exchange the contacting info with him/her.
xx eex*** pule to using a telephone to eakk. call| *f*r*t* Fer
i.
.-eeitell the person you want to talk wth. eg*r-UH--
= ji. tell thet- your name. ©&: "Hello, I am Peter. Is Yate there?"
iii. give a greeting (gio1-tsio4—mng7 )
iv. ‘sk the pertner if this one is- have time to esti- talk with you.
(eg. Sing wen ni fangbian jieng dianhua ma?)
"sioZ-mng7 li2 hong=pian?7 konge tian7-ue7--"05°
vesay the reason why you have totalk to the listemer.
*** Principlesto hang eut up (Jleshu dianhua) the phone Hee
= i, await the short pause.
ii.-give a simple and short reason to heng up the phone. eg. 7 have
to go to tre cram school or T have to arr gge my room, etc."
iii. tell yvI'm so glad t talk with you"
iv. tell that'see you next ttimey,and"goodbye".
¥** if you have to lesve a voice mesgage EXE
i. tell the person you want to ent» ct nd the name of you.
T di. tell the resson tiat you ec 11 the person 2nd the time & date you
leave the msg.
leave the phone num. and say "Goodbye".
iv.
== The rule to use the net safely ==
1. teeagers is Ast apporbriate to pyaking frienc ¢e on .the “et.
T i)a yenaier may be 3a huntee by other malicoius persons.
ii) net pal bent friend!
es iii) Give not personal contact info t strangess!
eg. real name, home addr., birthdate, TD num. and the
e-mail addr. that cn indentifiy what you belongs to.
C / Resides, the id name used on the net is prpper to
erase any gender info. Or sme bad man or other persn
wll be esatehed attracted and you will be in troubdle.
the privéleges of any messages, photos, voices, etc.
= iv)
should be well-set/v
v) never accept the invitation from strangeBs. (makine friend invitetio#)
HHH recommandationsto adults about net-dating 7## ko
4. Give no cntact infos. to the counterpart at first time.
ii. meet that man in a public loc tion with “ANY people there.
iii. Never go to anywhere with that one alone.
iy. if-you—gota_a date by yourself on a car, you have go home by
yourself. (T think that the author considered t 2t return home
wit the other party #s contains dangers.)
v. Never get on the counterpart's car first time, end or let that_en
person send you home.
vie You SVOULD Let yourfamiliese and your friends know the dater
and the dat@ngi- dating location. _
vii. Before and after the date, you soulder- telling the friend/family
you have the gate and if you are safe.
Tar dating rules and "protocol( code of conduct)", pl ease
re°er to other sepecific Wodka.
ror {at your kids are using ‘internet, it is proper to cheak the status
of the website and the activities of your kids kid8s inteenet
US §eSe
2, understand the slangs and thhe- the abbrs. used on the Net.
in Tnglish: OMG= Oh My God; T.OL=laugh out laod; POS=parent
over shoulder (Jjazhanf zai ni beihou); PAW=parent are
watching.
Pe, Recareful for the cheating on the internet by on the “NS or oe
dating websites, &c.
VIT. showithe good "elegance (fengdau)"
4t is useful wite=- to sow the elegance, incl.
while Preven anontt an online game
#1 partnership
#2 fair game
4% sel f-cntrolling
HOw to sow the elezance:
#1 appreciate others
4D follow te guidelines and principles te of tie game. Tmportant:
No cheating.
#% share and give the turn to the nxt. one.
4}, ao not be a judger, nere nora "instructor".
#5 an't be too agereessive.
#6 care the injurier while that one is/ hurt.
#9 T# you are bored, do not leave directly, and- but give advice of the
alternate games or options.
buyao
#8 buyee shu buqi (you souln
#9 while the game is ended,
't not be tampered white los ng a gmc.
saying "It's a deo? good game" is proper
to s ow the elegance.
V¥TT. Vow to enjoyfbriend meeting?
1.-the elements: "ho. “hat, There, “hen and hol
(1) the friends invited sould know that each others is also invited.
(2) they are hav ng the same hobbies.
socaal
2. hat to do - if you have sekzal diffuciity,, it is batter to hola
an activity than a talking. You Ss ouldmake the activity also agreed
by the invitees.
(3) the meeting con be hebd in your house or other suitablee places.
(4) check you have common free time, and the time is proper to less thm
3 hrs} except encert, movie, ball game-watching,&c.
(4) the way bo let every invitees to get to the place matterse
should
*** before you invier invite others to your hame, you seid +e *
#1 Plan it before several days ago.
#2 ek Make sure the room/space is clean end arranged well.
#3 hide the objects that gu don't want toshow others.
Hh, because the emotions car be changed uncertainly, the alternative
¥RX of activities s ould be ready.
*** Wo w to begin the hades er
1. greeting, 2.invite them entering your home and give them the way.
3. introducing friends. 4. prepere the food and drinks first. 5é ekheek
let your friends know the spaces and where they are approved to enters
6. *skineg "what -you-wanna—do'" to your friend and respect what they
want.
x4 inithelprocesstof the meptini -*
1. let the gvests choose the actitit es 2. use haFf of the t me ta
exahange the infos. 3. give support to your friends.
** how toend the meeting ***
1. wait the pause, 2. give the reason that the meetingsould be halted,
3. send the friends to the doors end seying ogoodbye &c.
¥t~es
TY. solve the argument.
1. keep calm
2. listen the opinion of the counterpart.
3. repeat what the other party said, to show the enscience.
Lh. "xplain what you thought. _
5. apologize
6. appemt to solve the problem.
Vv. Deal with the mocking/
\ proverb says "Sticks ad stones may break my bones, but names wll
never hurt me."
a bullier have the tendency to mocor b lly #ese- these who are socie’~
iglated. “bullying these who are not inth114 gent defficuent but weire
is considered not more evil."
"ATT, teenagers and youtts have got mocked.#
Ts not god to not respomse to the mocking fr m others, or to be
triggered strongly by the eem mocking.
THT RETTHR WAYS:
#1. oral response: 44 eg. “So what", "Does it matter?" or "TI do not es
ware, &ce!"! .
Hf a $
2. non-oral responses: shrugging , shaking hand- head, —-Yol}4.
“Ling
beh
rolling your eyes ‘ ping2-peh8-jin5), &c.
#3 leave them.
\_ #4Tf the mocker are violent;-and, or that one have high-r aw power or
authority, the ways s own above is inpwoper touse.
™nbrassment feedback is a way to adiust 6m one's appearance or al-titu-
Ge better.
\ YT Fow to Deal with net-bullying
#8. don't jump in -a fhaming.
#2 find friends supportting you.
Y #4 bloak bulliers.
#4-Turk for -a-white.
#5 keep the evideneeexhibitions. (zhengwu),
et in nassesary, find a-datt- an adult (if you are a teenager)
or report to a police or related organization.
#9__
vYTT Reducing ths rumeurs.
- Tt's mee impossible to diminish the rumours.
wW ;
his/ner
someone may be spreadins the rusours to make tke position in a
group higher.
RIT. u
i Vv
- Nen8t deny it. and don8t gery the rumour-maker.
© Yeep away from the ruvour-maker smartly.
- Dom't siow anger or rage to the rumour.
- chow that you sre astonished to the rumour, to make it more untrusta-
_——
ble.
Smartly svread set+f- your own rumour,
vIII. Avoid the body bullying.
the difinition: vandalise the personal belongings and hurt you.
~--dntt--PDo-nst
=- Prevemt yourself from being t o close to the bullier.
- Tf the bullier nears you, keep yourself in a low profile (baochi di-
diao)
- Do not provoke (tiaoxin; chhiang3-siann!) hex nor correct the bu}tier.
Do be treat the tulcier as your friend, and Tr yu have to b& close to
the bullier, be with friends or the authority person.
- Tf neccessary, ensi-- consult to the adult or thhe person with author-
ity.
How to make your reputation higher
——be_in alow proBilet.
be adjust to follow the social rukes.
be-e- change your appearance.
accept the reputation you got before.
find a group that accept you.
Sr = ee el